The problem with you
You might be tempted to use words like “time,” “energy,” “money,” or “opportunity” to describe the situation. Perhaps you feel restricted by the actions of others?
That said, I have a sneaking suspicion that a significant portion of what is holding you back is your own sense of self. To put it another way, you might find yourself constrained by your attachment to the “old you” and your desire to be perceived as dependable and consistent.
Why Consistency Isn’t as Important as It Used to Be
We all have a strong attachment to the person we believe we are. We all have a sense of who we are, and we all have an idea of who others think we are as well. For example, you might consider yourself to be someone who is always upbeat and never takes himself too seriously. Alternatively, you may consider yourself to be a true local, who supports the local sports team and would never leave the comfort of your own home.
We appreciate the sense of continuity that this provides, and other people appreciate the fact that they are aware of where they stand in our relationship.
We don’t want to do anything that is “out of character” for us, and we don’t want to go back on our previous statements.
But is this something to which you should cling in the first place? Is it possible that your concept of “you” is out of date?
The ability to adapt is essential
If there is one thing the dinosaurs taught us, it is that adaptability is the most important trait when it comes to surviving and thriving in the modern world. If you are unable to adapt, the world will change around you, and you will be rendered an anachronism in the process.
With that in mind, what is the benefit of actively refusing to adapt and grow in your current situation?
Have you ever told someone how you were feeling and then changed your mind about it… only to find yourself in a position where you feel you can’t go back on your word?
Just Be authentic
Have you ever felt enormous pressure from other people’s expectations of you when you wanted to dress differently or adopt a more serious demeanor all of a sudden?
This is a detention facility. And the irony is that it is a lie: the most authentic version of yourself is simply the version of yourself that you naturally desire to be. The most authentic version of yourself is to let go of all expectations and simply act in the moment based on your emotions and feelings.
And keep in mind that there is no such thing as biological continuity. Even ten years ago, the person you are now was biologically distinct from the person you were at that time. Accept the situation and move on.